Hey ho
I hope you’re keeping well. It’s been a while since the last newsletter, so thought I’d start with something silly.
Earlier this year, I went to Namibia – an incredible country – with deserts, safari, and grand canyons; it’s got the lot.
And I managed to pap a lion fornicating – a very rare thing to see and even harder to capture on camera as he does his business in about six seconds.
Here’s the photo…
Got one of him after too…
David Attenborough, eat your heart out!
Anyway, I’m not here to send you photos of randy lions (good band name). I’m here to shamelessly promote my follies and wares (bad band name).
So, without further ado, let’s get to the ‘mane’ event…
NEW BOOK NEWS
I am happy to report that my second book is now (almost) finished – four-fifths of it has been edited, and I’m tidying up the final chapters.
Like my first effort, Anoint My Head – How I Failed to Make it as A Britpop Indie Rockstar, it’s a day job versus the dream kind of book.
The main narrative takes place during the mid to late 1990s with failed rockstar Horace now working as an admin assistant in a Soho picture library. But by night, he manages bands and puts on gigs in Camden, and he might have discovered the Next Big Thing.
The only thing standing in his way of the big time is a complete lack of knowledge of how the music industry works and his line manager, Bev, who is not happy about his extracurricular activities at work.
There are also snakes and cannibals and street urchins and mud and west end mafia and angry tour managers and pigeons and Ricky Gervais.
I’m now thinking about the book title, which can be tricky. A good title needs to capture the essence of the book, but you have to cross the finish line to know what that is. Because one of the joys of writing a book is that you start with a preconceived idea of what the book is about, but then, through writing it, you discover what it’s really about.
And if my first book was about desire (or delusion), this one might have more to do with identity – working out who you are, finding your niche, knowing your limits…and then ignoring all that.
I am hoping to avoid BOOK TITLE HELL, which, like BAND NAME HELL, can be a tortuous process where you can’t suss the name, but there is an easy fix for bands – simply combine an adjective and an animal—for example, the Pointy Birds or the Arctic Monkeys or the Randy Lions.
Anyway, if all goes to plan, this book will see the light of day in the summer of 2025, which rather neatly coincides with 30-year celebrations of a certain indie guitar movement and the period in which much of the book is set.
In the meantime, I give you…
THE SKULL CAP
Here is a free short story about a practical joke that escalates between two flatmates.
It might also be a portrait of friendship.
It’s all true, apart from the bits I made up, and it centres around this little hat…
And this is how the story starts…
If you want to know how it finishes, click here. (This story goes well with a cup of tea and a penguin (biscuit variety)).
And now for something completely different…
A NEW CURE?
A few weeks ago, I went for a walk on Hampstead Heath, and at the top of Parliament Hill, an idea popped into my head. I kept it to myself for a few days, then mentioned it to a few friends, and none of them said it was a bad idea. Some even said they would be up for doing it, too.
To explain.
Earlier this year, I saw the Smyths, a Smiths tribute band, at the Electric Ballroom. I’d never seen a tribute band before; being a new music promoter, I poo-poo-ed the very idea of them but sang my heart out for the entire gig.
Fast forward a few months, and I tried to get tickets to see The Cure at the Troxy, London, but they sold out before they even went on sale. And then, in a why-don’t-I-bring-the-mountain-to-Mohammed lightbulb moment, I thought to myself, why don’t I form a Cure tribute band? The songs are not beyond my musical capabilities, and back in the day, people said I sounded a bit like Robert Smith when I sang. Plus, we share the same bum chin.
So last week, when no one was looking, I ordered a black wig from Amazon for £9.99 and then asked my daughter Sasha if she could make me look like Robert Smith. I showed her a photo, she rolled her eyes and then for the next hour, she applied white foundation, red lipstick, black mascara, and eyeshadow, and the results speak for themselves…
Things have now escalated. From this photo alone, I have been offered four gigs. I have also found an enthusiasm for the project at my Local lido. Some of my fellow swimmers are big Cure fans who play guitar, bass, drums and keyboards.
It feels ‘curated’….
Maybe it’s a reaction to world events – the need to escape reality and have fun. And it’s an obvious shortcut to attaining that rock n roll stardom that has always been cruelly denied me.
I am now on Chat GTP asking it for witty names for a cure tribute band, and current contenders include The Fake Cure, No Cure, No Known Cure, The Incurables, The Curables, Cure Me, Skewered, Obscure, Epicure, Just Like Cure and so on.
I might be entering TRIBUTE BAND NAME HELL.
Anyway, we just had our first full band rehearsal, and we sounded ‘Curish’……..watch this space!
NOT JUST FOR XMAS…
Lastly but not leastly, a reminder that my debut book, Anoint My Head: How I Failed to Make it as Britpop Indie Rockstar,makes the perfect Xmas present.
It has been scientifically proven to improve the quality of your life, and there are moments within its pages that are guaranteed to make you snigger, smirk, titter and chortle, or get your money back!
The book was adapted into a one-man show, and if stars align and Netflix pull their finger out, it could become their next Baby Reindeer / One Day.
You can buy in hardback, paperback, audiobook or ebook.
Or if you would like a signed copy, you can buy it directly from me. I only have 47 of these original first editions left and next year, there will be a new cover, so grab them now, as they are likely to soar in value upwards of £9.99 in the future.
Nice reviews for Anoint My Head book and show (apart from one)…
‘Captures the time and the aspirations of a young band brilliantly. A great eye-opener into the absurd thought process of what it might take to headline Glastonbury!’ Steve Lamacq BBC 6 Music
“All the fun of youthful dreams and the poignancy of disappointment – plus a remarkable A-list cameo. Magnificent.’ Phil Harrison Time Out / Guardian
‘If This Is Spinal Tap is the quintessential rock mockumentary, Anoint My Head is the closest you’ll get to that in book form.’ Loz Etheridge God is in the TV *****
‘Anoint My Head is a great read which rips along at pace and would make an excellent dramatisation or comedy series.’ Iain Key Louder Than War *****
‘Hilarious warts-and-all story of a Britpop band whose big ambitions did not meet their talents’ Dan Carrier Camden New Journal
“Carries the magnificent bravado of youth that will hold Generation X-ers and anyone nostalgically inclines in a state of happy reverie.” Daily Telegraph ****
“A campfire tale of hope, dreams and failures with a lesson for us all – if it’s fun, it’s worth doing.” Entertainment-Now
“Charmingly Ramshackle Catnip.” David Hepburn The Scotsman
“Gently amusing and accessible to anyone with even a passing appreciation of artistic folly…including a tender tale of inter-species love” Fiona Shepherd The Scotsman
“Funny and touching tale of Britpop stardom that never was.” Al Murray, the Pub Landlord
“I really enjoyed reading your book ” Chris Martin
“Ricky says he is too busy to read your book” Ricky Gervais’s PA
Ok, that’s enough of my yakkin’.
I’ll leave you with some things I’ve enjoyed this year
THE OUTRUN – My film of the year. It manages to be bleak and uplifting, which is quite hard to pull off.
MADE IN CHELSEA – Never disappoints. The latest series has unintentionally become a retelling of Pride and Prejudice. Jazz has fallen for cad Miles against her better judgment…
THE CLIENTELE – The year was bookended with two glorious London shows with tours of the US and France in between. I’m not biased.
BREATH – A book about breathing through your nose. It’s a superpower we all have and it right under our……
BIG ANGE – I’m still a believer. COYS!
THE NEW CURE ALBUM – Bob and Co are back to their best on Songs from a Lost World. If you can’t get a ticket to see them, maybe check out your local Cure tribute band.
Until next time
Andy/Horace/Robert x
PS Like many others, I’ve just joined Bsky, so you can find me there @andymacleod.bsky.social (I’ve not posted anything yet tho).
PPS: I got papped too…